VOD / INFO Raffle for a buzzTV XR4000 9/30/2019 - ranagee
- Thread starter Farmer1
- Start date
For all the VOD, beginners info, novice stuff.
- Status
that not a hint at all.
Farmer never tells me answers on these raffles.
I think because I might slip and give away... but that is just a theory
Farmer never tells me answers on these raffles.
I think because I might slip and give away... but that is just a theory
Toilet Seat....pg #21
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat.
The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear.
She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.
She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and away they go.
When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament.
The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"
"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."
Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...!
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat.
The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear.
She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.
She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and away they go.
When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament.
The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"
"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."
Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...!
[h=2]The wine taster ... page 18[/h]
At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the
director started looking for a new one to hire. He posted a sign at
the entrance to the building...
EXPERIENCED WINE TASTER NEEDED --
POSITION STARTS IMMEDIATELY.
A retired Army Aviator named "Ace," drunk and with a ragged dirty look and smelling of last night's rounds, strolled by the building and saw the sign. He went into the building to apply for the position.
Aghast at his appearance, the director wondered... how to send him away but, to be fair, he gave him a glass of wine to taste.
The old Army pilot held the glass up to his left eye, tilted his head toward incoming sunlight and studied the contents looking through the glass.
He then took a sip and said, "It's a Southern California Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Somewhat low-grade but acceptable."
"That's correct," said the boss. Glancing at his assistant he
said..."Another one, please."
The old Army pilot took the goblet, full of a deep red liquid, stuck
his nose into the glass, sniffed deeply and took a long slow
sip....rolling his eyeballs in a circle, he then looked at the
director and said... "It's a Cabernet Sauvignon, eight years old,
south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for the finest results."
"Absolutely correct. A third glass," said the director.
Receiving another glass, again, the Army pilot eyed the crystal, took in a little bit of the aroma and sipped very softly... ''It's a pinot blanc champagne, very high grade and exclusive,'' said the pilot calmly.
The director was astonished and winked at his assistant to suggest something.
She left the room and came back in with a wine glass half-full of urine.
The old Army pilot eyed it suspiciously... a color he could not quite recall.
He took a sip, swishing it over his tongue and across his teeth,
musing upward all the while.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't
get the job, I'll name the father."
director started looking for a new one to hire. He posted a sign at
the entrance to the building...
EXPERIENCED WINE TASTER NEEDED --
POSITION STARTS IMMEDIATELY.
A retired Army Aviator named "Ace," drunk and with a ragged dirty look and smelling of last night's rounds, strolled by the building and saw the sign. He went into the building to apply for the position.
Aghast at his appearance, the director wondered... how to send him away but, to be fair, he gave him a glass of wine to taste.
The old Army pilot held the glass up to his left eye, tilted his head toward incoming sunlight and studied the contents looking through the glass.
He then took a sip and said, "It's a Southern California Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Somewhat low-grade but acceptable."
"That's correct," said the boss. Glancing at his assistant he
said..."Another one, please."
The old Army pilot took the goblet, full of a deep red liquid, stuck
his nose into the glass, sniffed deeply and took a long slow
sip....rolling his eyeballs in a circle, he then looked at the
director and said... "It's a Cabernet Sauvignon, eight years old,
south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for the finest results."
"Absolutely correct. A third glass," said the director.
Receiving another glass, again, the Army pilot eyed the crystal, took in a little bit of the aroma and sipped very softly... ''It's a pinot blanc champagne, very high grade and exclusive,'' said the pilot calmly.
The director was astonished and winked at his assistant to suggest something.
She left the room and came back in with a wine glass half-full of urine.
The old Army pilot eyed it suspiciously... a color he could not quite recall.
He took a sip, swishing it over his tongue and across his teeth,
musing upward all the while.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't
get the job, I'll name the father."
Cabbies....pg # 21
A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.
The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"
The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."
The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud... They're hookers!"
A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"
The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"
Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...!
A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.
The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, "Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"
The mother replies, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work."
The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, "Ah, C'mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud... They're hookers!"
A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, "Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?"
The mother replies, "Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"
Thanks to Farmer1, NBS and the Buzz team for the donation of the Buzz XR4000 for this Contest on IPTVTalk...!
Three old men were sitting around ...
page 20
http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?39240-Three-old-men-were-sitting-around
page 20
http://iptvtalk.net/showthread.php?39240-Three-old-men-were-sitting-around
- Status