Police work can be entertaining as well as
dangerous.
Recently, a female Sheriff's Deputy
arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a
pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County
(GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public
indecency and public intoxication. The suspect explained that he was passing a
pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to
stop.
'You
know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for
miles, or at least I thought there was no one around,' he stated. Lawrence
went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin
that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to
satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented
with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his
audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual
situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and
he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'
Deputy Taylor went on to describe
what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said excuse me sir, but do you
realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?’
He froze and was clearly
very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and
said, "A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'”
The court (and the judge) could not
contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication,
fined $10.00 and sent on his way.
The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best
come-back line ever."
dangerous.
Recently, a female Sheriff's Deputy
arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a
pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County
(GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public
indecency and public intoxication. The suspect explained that he was passing a
pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to
stop.
'You
know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for
miles, or at least I thought there was no one around,' he stated. Lawrence
went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin
that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to
satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented
with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his
audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual
situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and
he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'
Deputy Taylor went on to describe
what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said excuse me sir, but do you
realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?’
He froze and was clearly
very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and
said, "A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'”
The court (and the judge) could not
contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication,
fined $10.00 and sent on his way.
The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best
come-back line ever."