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  1. Farmer1

    Rocket Starlink internet

    I love my starlink and my server settings are set to Canada and it works fine.
  2. Farmer1

    A clean little chuckle

    A clean little chuckle....Three male dogs encounter a beautiful female poodle and immediately fall in love. Well aware of her own charms and her effect on males, she announces, "I want a mate with brains, therefore I will only date the dog who creates an imaginative, intelligent sentence using...
  3. Farmer1

    Two Army boys

    Two Army boys, Leroy & Jasper, from the hills of Kentucky were promoted right from privates to Sergeants because of their great marksmanship with rifles. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey, Jasper, There's the NCO Club. Let's you and Me stop in." "But we's privates,"...
  4. Farmer1

    Hallowe’en party

    A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being...
  5. Farmer1

    "Tarzan not know sex!"

    When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex: "Tarzan not know sex!" He replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said. "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree!" Horrified, she said. "Tarzan...
  6. Farmer1

    bad hailstorm

    A blonde was driving home after a football game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail...
  7. Farmer1

    asking children questions

    While the priest was presenting a children's sermon he asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. In response to the...
  8. Farmer1

    I recently spent $16,500 on this registered Black Angus bull

    > I recently spent $16,500 on this registered Black Angus bull. > > > > I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. > > > > I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. > > > > Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a...
  9. Farmer1

    Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows

    Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7...
  10. Farmer1

    A horse and a chicken

    A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly the horse falls into a mud hole and starts sinking. He tells the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the...
  11. Farmer1

    Stop worrying about everyone else's ass

    Not really a joke but well worth the read A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that...
  12. Farmer1

    A Priest Was Being Honored

    🏆A Priest Was Being Honored 🏆 A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the church was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little talk at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say...
  13. Farmer1

    Saskatchewan Fire Insurance Quotation

    Saskatchewan Fire Insurance Quotation A man and his wife moved back home to Saskatchewan from Vancouver. The wife had a wooden leg, and to insure it in BC was $2000 a year! When they arrived in Saskatchewan, they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the...
  14. Farmer1

    2 Drinks

    Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The driver says, “That is great. My wife and I do that every night.” The passenger replies, “My wife is conservative, she likes it the old-fashioned way. But if you tell me how you get your wife to do this, I...
  15. Farmer1

    I was at a sex convention in Vegas

    last week while there they had a seminar on the different positions for making love. the MC posed the question who knows the most ways to have sex? One young man jumped up and said 7, another yelled out 13. An old man in the back of the room got to his feet and said in a tired and cracking...
  16. Farmer1

    An Irishman is in the bar

    An Irishman is in the bar, drinking a pint of Guinness. A lady next To him says, “What a coincidence, I am having Guinness too.” Irish man – “I’m celebrating.” Lady – “Me too.” Irish man – “What a coincidence! Why are you celebrating?” Lady – “My husband & I have tried for 4 years for a baby...
  17. Farmer1

    after 25 children

    Mary and Ted got married and had 13 children. Then Ted died of heart disease. She married again and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Again Mary remarried and this time she & John had 5 more children. Mary finally died, after having 25 children...
  18. Farmer1

    Cinderella was 75 years old

    Cinderella was 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat In her rocking chair watching the world go by with her cat, Alan. One afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared her Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all...
  19. Farmer1

    Don't eat chicken sandwiches

    Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what ! ! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth...
  20. Farmer1

    He awoke before the Pearly Gates...

    He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep... He awoke before the Pearly Gates... St Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph"... Ralph was stunned, "I'm dead...? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back"... St Peter said, "Hmm, perhaps that...